Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Randomize
