I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize