So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
