what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
