She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize