just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize