I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I sprained my soul last night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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