Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
