holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
