so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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