Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
