I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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