Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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