I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
