I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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