Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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