So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
