Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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