okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
