No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
