I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
