so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
