Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize