Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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