YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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