I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
