another moral hangover. fuck.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
