party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
