they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
