Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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