hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
