1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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