we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
