Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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