oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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