all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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