With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
