3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
