so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
