You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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