Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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