her vagine was all disorganized.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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