I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
