A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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