would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
