Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
