i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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