Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize