she was so not down for the gang bang
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
cat food counts as protein by the way
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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