Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
