Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
