Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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