Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
