I cut my penus on the lid.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
