Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
