The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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