i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
