i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my shit smells like andre
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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