i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
