yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
