they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
