We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
