it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
